


Can’t Breathe Without You

by AshStoryLover123



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Movie 2020) RPF
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, BAMF Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Buried Alive, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Immortality, Implied Sexual Content, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani is an Incurable Romantic, M/M, Protective Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27221935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshStoryLover123/pseuds/AshStoryLover123
Summary: Nicky’s grip on his gun turned white. Beside him, Nile had begun mumbling into the earpiece too. Nicky focused, taking in what little he could as he scanned the windows. Andy bit out a curse, and Nicky knew she’d gone looking for Joe.Any second now, Joe would reply and Andy would proceed to chew him out in every language she’d ever known.But the seconds only ticked by~It was supposed to be a simple mission until Joe gets taken under mysterious circumstances. Nicky and the team will do anything to get him back.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 6
Kudos: 171





	1. Taken

It was never supposed to end up this way.

Andy wanted a simple mission to assess where they were as a group without Booker. After a two month long vacation in Malta they’d reunited in New York to stop an illegal shipment at the harbor. Nicky was sniper once again and normally Joe would have guarded his back while Andy and Booker approached their targets. Joe would only leave his side if there was trouble.

More often then not, there wasn’t and this was supposed to be one of those times.

With Booker gone and Andy mortal, it only made sense to send the second strongest fighter in their unit onto the field. While Nile was by no means inexperienced, she definitely fought far better than he had during the Crusades, she still had a lot more to learn. So Joe went with Andy and Nile stayed by his side, ready to run down to the docks at the first sign of trouble. 

Nicky kept careful watch on Andy and Joe’s movement, noting the way Andy edged slightly before Joe. Joe would no doubt be annoyed at that when they got back to the safe house tonight but this was Andy. She would go first, always. Near 6000 years of habit couldn’t be reverted in mere months. 

The docks were empty apart from the two of them but they still moved cautiously. They neared the small makeshift building that functioned as the shipping area that Copley had pointed out earlier. There were three others like it, eerily quiet and dark. There were windows to look through but Nicky still wished he was down there.

Joe sent him a halfhearted wave back before stepping into the first of the buildings behind Andy. For long moments, they were both completely out of sight and beside him Nile began to pace in agitation. Then Andy’s voice came through the earpiece. 

“All clear Joe?” 

He didn’t reply. She posed the question again, with a hint more irritation. Of all of them, Joe was notorious for not checking in immediately. Nicky would call him easily distracted if he hadn’t seen the man spend months at a time focused on his artwork when he had the chance. 

Andy posed the question again and Nicky’s grip on his gun turned white. Beside him, Nile had begun mumbling into the earpiece too. Nicky focused, taking in what little he could as he scanned the windows. Andy bit out a curse, and Nicky knew she’d gone looking for Joe. 

Any second now, Joe would reply and Andy would proceed to chew him out in every language she’d ever known.

But the seconds only ticked by, the windows remained dark and empty and all he could hear was the occasional sound of Andy’s footsteps. 

“I’m going down there,” Nile said. 

Nicky followed her more carefully until she was finally within the building as well. She was whispering through the earpiece the entire time, giving him all clears every five seconds because they both knew now that there was trouble. Real trouble. Even if Joe had been killed silently, a near impossible task for how skilled his husband was, he would have woken up by now.

Any struggle and they would have heard. 

“I found Andy,” Nile whispered.

That gave him a small dose of relief. She was mortal and it’d destroy Joe if he found out something had happened to her when he was meant to have her back. He waited a couple more tense seconds, debating joining the rest of his team down there when Andy’s voice came through the earpiece.

“I’ve searched the building twice top to bottom. Nile’s done the same,” she said.

Nicky put down the sniper’s gun. He couldn’t shoot anyway when his fingers were beginning to shake this bad. His clothes suddenly felt too tight, face too hot. His heartbeat echoed in his ears, too loud, too fast. 

He needed to focus. Needed to breath. Joe needed him. 

“Exits,” he asked.

His voice was a rasp stretched thin, barely audible even to his own ears.

“There’s two. One from the back of the building, the other on the left side,” she said.

He resumed his sniper’s perch, scanning the building once before replying.

“I can see the left side exit from here,” he said.

He wanted, no needed to be down there with them. Sitting still was an impossibility with all the pent up tension running through his frame. But he was a sniper, he was honed for this. Andy wanted him here. What she said, went, always. 

“Nicky get down here. Nile will be backup,” Andy said. 

Nicky had almost forgotten why Andy’s word was obeyed with question. Not because she’d ever demanded it of them. It was because she was always aware, and she always made the best choice. And despite the fact that she couldn’t even see him, could barely hear for how low he’d spoken, she knew where he needed to be. 

Nile reached his side, briefly planting a hand on his shoulder before releasing him. He was off, sword strung across his back, gun held in front of him. His fingers weren’t shaking anymore as he reached Andy’s side but she still took a single moment to reach forward and draw him in until their foreheads touched.

“We’ll find him and we’ll make the bastards pay,” she said lowly. 

He just nodded, still too wound up to offer much else. He followed her out the building and went for the second one. From the outside, it was identical to the first. Andy stepped in, Nicky on her heels. It was empty, quiet and Nicky’s heart was suddenly racing for a different reason.

“Boss this feels,” he started.

“I know,” she interjected grimly.

Through the earpiece, he heard Nile swear at Copley. Her anger was palpable, and so was Andy’s, more cold and ruthless than Nile’s. Nicky felt nothing for Copley because Copley didn’t matter when Joe wasn’t here. And everything in him, every emotion and every thought belonged to Joe now. 

They scoured the second building and Nicky felt like praying as they approached the third one. He was starting to become a little desperate, a little unhinged. Andy noted it, enough to even let him enter the final building before her. It didn’t help that there was an ocean nearby, didn’t help that they’d talked of Quynh more often over the past few months considering Nile’s repeated dreams of her.

The world couldn’t do that to Joe. His Joe, brighter than all the stars in the sky, with the innocent laugh of a child and a deep rooted sense of loyalty and good that hadn’t faltered once in the last 900 years. 

“Nicky focus,” Andy said, not unkindly. 

The third building came up empty too and Nicky’s heart was a dead thing in his chest as he followed Andy out. He made it back to Nile in somewhat of a haze, barely felt her hands on his shoulder as she pushed him to sit before settling down beside him. Andy pulled out a cigarette, a habit she hadn’t fallen into in a long while. 

“You heard nothing over the earpiece correct,” she asked, glancing their way. 

Nile nodded. Nicky was drifting, trying to find something to cling to. Nile took his hand in hers and Nicky’s attention narrowed down to that touch, until he could finally hear Andy past the dull ringing in his ears.

“If there was no struggle then Joe would have had to go willingly. But why,” Andy mused aloud. 

After a couple of moments, it wasn’t Andy that answered her own question like she had the habit of doing. It was Nile.

“For you. You’re mortal,” she said vaguely.

“There was no one there,” Andy interjected, before the realization dawned on all of them.

Explosives. They’d been so busy looking for a person that they hadn’t done a detailed explosive check when they’d gone through any of the buildings. And besides, Nicky had forgotten about explosives completely considering there’d been someone to check that for the last two hundred years. 

Even the fresh reminder of Booker’s betrayal held nothing against the fear crushing his chest, choking his breath.

“We set the explosives off. If Joe’s anywhere near here, he’ll hear and he’ll fight back in some way. We’ll find him,” Andy explained quickly. 

Andy was about to follow Nile when Nicky pulled her back by the wrist. She looked down at his hand, confused, like she’d forgotten she was mortal and couldn’t walk away from an explosion unleashed wrong.

“You go first to find Joe. We’ll set off the explosion,” he said.

It was tough for them both, tough for Nicky to not be the first after Joe. It was only recognizing that, which led Andy to reluctantly nod. Nicky followed Nile down to the first building and they set to work finding the explosives. It wasn’t hard once they were actively looking for them.

Booker would have found a way to trigger the explosives and get them all out alive. Joe was probably second best at demolitions. Nile was a fair shot but even she couldn’t find a way to set them off after a time interval.

“You go. I’ll set this off,” he said.

“Nicky you need to find Joe,” she said softly.

“Nile go to Andy. I’ll be fine,” he said.

This was all on him after all, for losing sight of Joe in the first place. As leader, they were all in some sense Andy’s responsibility but ultimately, Joe was his responsibility. His man to love and guard for all the time they had. 

And this would be the price he paid for failing in that.

“Go Nile,” he pressed. His tone booked no argument and she went reluctantly. Nicky stared at the mass of wires before him, taking a deep breath in and out. 

For Joe, this was nothing. The last thing he heard was Joe’s voice in his mind, telling him that he loved him in the oldest language they knew before Nicky’s world flashed white.


	2. Buried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teams finds out what happened to Joe, and Nicky reminisces.

He woke to screams and gunfire. There was a large wooden beam pressed down on his body, a jagged piece of wood sticking out of his leg rather grotesquely. He pulled out the wood through his chest first, groaning as he died again.

When he came back the second time, his surroundings hadn’t much changed. He pushed at the wooden beam as black dots began to cloud in vision. No. Joe needed him. Joe needed him. Dying could wait.

With one more fierce push, the wooden beam fell off and Nicky could breath again as his crushed ribs healed themselves. He made quick work of extricating his legs before hobbling out of the demolished building with his gun in hand, sword at his back. He followed the clamor to a smaller building that they’d somehow missed at first glance. It was shrouded by the first one, barely larger than the smallest of their safe houses. 

His instinct was to rush in but neither Joe nor Andy would let him live that down. He stepped in cautiously, finding the room packed with people soon to be dead, caught in the maelstrom that was Andy. With Nile defending her, taking bullets without a second thought as she weaving around Andy’s form, Andy seemed near immortal again. Like the God she claimed she’d once been worshipped as. 

The people were fleas and they died unimportant deaths. Screams turned to blood soaked silence and Nicky scanned the room, even when he knew he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. He met Andy’s gaze instead, still wide and a little savage from the daze of a fight. 

Nile approached a man in the corner that was somehow still alive, dragging his injured leg behind him like there was anywhere for him to go. Nicky brushed past Nile, planting his foot firmly over the man’s broken limb. He let out a hoarse wail and all Nicky would think was, not enough. 

It was hardly a fraction of the agony Nicky was in now. Seized by a sudden rush of fury that emptied his heart of any of the kindness Joe often spoke of, he pulled the man off the ground and pinned him to the wall, with his sword against the quivering man’s throat.

Andy came up to his side and the man’s eyes roved they room wildly before landing on Nile, perhaps the least intimidating of the three of them. He uttered the word please once, twice, tears spilling down his cheeks.

Nile only clenched her jaw before unloading a bullet through the man’s other leg. He howled, shaking in Nicky’s grasp. 

“Where is Joe,” Nile asked evenly, undeterred. 

Recognizing that he wasn’t going to get mercy from anyone, that even the least angry of their lot would snap his neck and sleep like a baby tonight, he began to babble.

“Copley arranged this to get one of you. My boss was paid to do all this. I’m just part of the extraction team I swear, I’m just hear for the money. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“You still haven’t answered her question,” Andy said lowly. 

Nile lifted her gun and Nicky squeezed the man’s neck just a little more tightly. He briefly gasped for breath as desperate pleas escaped him mixed in with whining hitches of pain.

“They buried him somewhere here. I don’t know where. They knew they couldn’t get him out without one of you noticing. Copley would know where though. Ask Copley and he’ll tell you. Please, please I don’t know anything else,” the man begged.

Nicky’s mind froze on the word buried and he heard nothing past that. His whole word went quiet. Utter devastating silence as that single word rang in his ears. Buried. They’d buried Joe, buried his heart, buried a man that had only ever wanted to do good in this world. Joe was here, under his feet somewhere, coming to life just to choke to death over and over. His Joe, trapped in the dark, unable to breath. 

Nicky couldn’t breath. This, this was what he’d once thought death would really feel like. 

“We’ll find him Nicky. We’ll dig up every inch of this land if we have to,” Andy said. 

“Yes exactly. You can find him. I’ll even help,” the man started.

Nicky snapped his neck before he could finish. There was nothing but ice in his veins, nothing but cold fury in his heart.

They’d buried Joe. Buried him. And Nicky was going to rip Copley to shreds for it. The man had made his little bulletin board of clippings, pictures of all the good they’d done but Nicky hadn’t lived 900 years to know of just how to save lives. 

He knew more ways to kill, more ways to inflict pain on this world than almost all, second only to the woman beside him. The woman that would also take Copley apart piece by piece for daring to go after one of her own. Together, they could make Copley feel pain he’d never known existed.

And even that wouldn’t be a fraction of his agony knowing Joe was suffering, Joe was dying and he was helpless. 

Andy decided that one of them would stay at the harbor, hidden, waiting for someone to come take Joe. Unless they already had amidst the battle and explosions. Nicky didn’t know whether the thought made him feel better or worse, knowing Joe might not be in the ground only to be a thousand miles away from Nicky at this point.

Wherever he was it was torture for them both because they were apart. 

At their nearest safe house, it was Nile that called on Booker. Nicky didn’t bother to protest. There was no avenue he would shut down if it meant finding Joe. Booker would arrive soon, until which time all Nicky could do was sit and wait and stare at the ground that Joe could be buried under. He’d considered taking a shovel to it, considering begging Andy to let him overturn the land.

But it was a huge piece of land, crawling with some police in daylight thanks to the explosion. They’d cleared the bodies between the three of them but the commotion had still attracted some attention. So all Nicky could do was keep a watchful eye over the crowd for any suspicious figures. 

Near millennia and they’d never been buried before. Why did the world continue to find new ways to hurt him? Was not living forever, watching the world fade around them, enough? 

“Booker’s here,” Nile whispered through the earpiece. 

Then Booker’s voice came over the earpiece, low and remorseful. Apologizing over and over for what Copley had done, was doing. Nicky didn’t dignify him with a response and the man eventually fell silent. 

A couple hours later, the sun began to set. The New York City skyline glowed in the dark and while Nicky knew that most of Joe’s artistic inspirations came from nature, old soul that he was, he’d still love painting this view of the city that supposedly never slept. He could see Joe beside him then in his mind’s eye, taking a picture of them both only to destroy it later because Andy would demand they do so.

Nicky had asked him once, long ago, why Joe still insisted on taking pictures on their vacations, acting like a tourist even when he’d stood on the city’s ground long before some of its oldest monuments had ever been built. 

Joe had looked at him with a thoughtful smile, swinging their joined hands between them.

“Why do you think I’ve tried to recreate your beauty in every art form known to man,” he’d asked simply.

“Because you’re an incurable romantic,” Nicky had chided, earning himself Joe’s eye roll.

“Well yes you’re my most beloved muse, but after all this time Nicky I could draw you blindfolded,” Joe had pointed out.

“That is true. I’ve seen you do that amongst many things blindfolded,” Nicky had teased. 

Joe had waggled his eyebrows as the events of the previous night rose up in the forefront of their minds. And so they’d acted like teenagers, racing back to their villa for another round. And afterwards when they’d laid in bed, sated, Joe a comfortable weight on him, the man had finally finished his explanation.

“I like capturing you and all else the world has to offer. It makes me feel like I belong, even if the photos are brief and paintings fade,” Joe had admitted.

Nicky hadn’t denied him a single picture or painting since. 

Even lost in his thoughts, Nicky sensed someone coming and would have raised his gun if he hadn’t known who it was. Booker appeared with a Chinese takeout container. Fried rice. He passed it over in silence before sitting beside him, just out of reach.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“He’s not here Booker. I’m not capable of forgiving you right now,” Nicky replied bluntly. 

“I promise you I’ll find him,” Booker pledged. Nicky didn’t doubt that. 

“I’ll leave after,” he added after a beat. His tone was beseeching Nicky to let him stay. 

“Have you eaten,” Nicky asked. A small show of kindness first, bare civilities. Then one day, Booker could stay, probably before his hundred year exile even ended. 

“I’ll go eat,” Booker said. He reached out as if to briefly pat Nicky’s shoulder, but then drew back. He was out of sight in moments and Nicky went back to dreaming of Joe, wishing for the man with such visceral intensity that it surprised him even that no higher power had granted him that wish yet.

Surely they felt this ache, weighing down his bones more than even immortality ever had. Surely they knew that if this went on much longer, Nicky would break. There were so many things they could take from him, many that would hurt.

But this, Joe, surely he wasn’t expected to ever have to live without Joe?


	3. Returned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky, Andy and Nile confront Copley. Drama ensues.

It took Booker a week to track down Copley. A week of waiting. A week that killed Nicky as much as a lack of oxygen was probably killing Joe. He ate when told to, slept when demanded to, fitfully without Joe’s arms holding him. He existed, barely. 

There was missing someone and then there was this. Nicky couldn’t survive this. It scared him even, how much he was spiraling. It wasn’t nearly as terrifying as the thought of never finding Joe again, or worse, finding him when it was already too late.

No, they’d leave this world as they’d come. Together. Always. They were words Nicky lived and died by. 

Booker pinpointed an address in New York, Queens to be precise. Booker stayed behind to see if anyone would come to the site and uncover Joe, in case this was all an elaborate setup. 

The plan was half thought out, pieces falling into place as they happened. They stormed the building with just enough awareness to appear coordinated. Andy and Nile were almost seamless as they dispatched guards, Nicky doing his best without the man meant to be at his side.

The man that these fools had had the audacity to take away from him. Like Joe could be anywhere that wasn’t beside Nicky, like fate hadn’t intervened and tied their souls together 900 years ago.

They found Copley soon enough. He and Nile had already fully healed. Andy had taken a bullet wound to her shoulder that Nile hadn’t been able to block, but she refused to so much as lean against Nicky, anger and rage alone holding her up, as she leveled her gun at Copley’s forehead. Nicky didn’t bother. 

This man wasn’t about to die by something as simple as a gunshot wound after all this. 

“I know you’re angry at being betrayed,” Copley started. 

“Don’t even pretend to know how any of us feel right now,” Nicky interjected icily.

Copley’s eyes softened a little when he looked Nicky’s way. 

“I know what he means to you,” Copley started.

“Then you wouldn’t have tried to take him from me. Not unless you wished to die a worse death than you could ever dream of,” Nicky said steadily.

Copley huffed out a breath, frustrated, like Nicky was throwing a goddamned tantrum. Like he was the child between the two of them. 

“Merrick went about it the wrong way. I only wish for a few samples. I wouldn’t keep you trapped forever,” Copley argued. 

“Then you should have asked, not kidnapped Joe and buried him 6 feet under,” Nile shouted. 

Nicky tried and failed not to flinch. 

“You would not have agreed,” Copley said sadly. 

Andy slammed her gun down on the desk that Copley sat behind, hard enough to disrupt a couple papers and have Copley nearly jump out of his seat. 

“Enough of this bullshit. Tell us where Joe is or I’ll put a bullet through your head. Don’t tell us where Joe is and we’ll do this the hard way. You choose Copley,” Andy said. 

Her tone booked no argument, never had. Eyes sharper than the point of a blade. Her laser like intensity practically skewered Copley on the other end as his gaze sheepishly turned away. 

“I’m going to die by your hands either way and I stopped caring for my life long ago. I only wish to do some good,” Copley argued.

“We do good. You can do good by helping us,” Nile said feebly.

Copley just shook his head and Andy was predictably done with the shit show. She raised her gun and Nicky stepped between her and Copley, forcing the gun down back to her side. 

“He’s the only one who knows where Joe is,” Nicky said.

“We’ll find him another way,” Andy practically growled.

“Andy he could be anywhere,” Nicky said, raggedly as the thought really hit him. Joe could be anywhere if he’d been taken away during the fight. They could be doing unspeakable things to him in the name of science, in the name of the greater good.

Like Joe wasn’t the greatest good this world would ever get, the good it hardly deserved. 

“Andy please,” he begged. And that was enough for Andy to lower her gun fully and step away. She swayed a little precariously, pressing a hand to her shoulder where the blood hadn’t clotted completely. Nile darted forward and held up her weight, pressing her hand over Andy’s to staunch the blood flow. 

“I’m sorry you got wounded,” Copley said.

Nicky turned back to him, to the monster parading under the guise of a savior. They were the worst kind of people, the hardest to deal with, the ones capable of the most destruction. Because Copley believed he was doing the right thing and Nicky’s appeals to humanity wouldn’t work if Copley believed he was saving humanity at the cost of Joe.

So Nicky did the only thing he could, offered what little he had hoping it would be enough. 

“Take me instead. Take your samples from me and release me when you’re done. I’ll go willingly if you tell us where Joe is. Booker will uncover him and once he confirms that Joe is out, I’ll come with you,” Nicky said.

“Nicky no,” Andy said, wrenching herself out of Nile’s grasp. Her grip was hard on Nicky’s arm but she was still bleeding, wounded and she knew that for once, she wasn’t strong enough to hold him back. 

“Andy they buried him. This can’t be worse than that,” Nicky argued.

Copley made a sound behind him that definitely suggested the opposite but Nicky pointedly ignored him.

“Joe wouldn’t want you to do this, would rather die a thousand times than see you do this,” Andy argued.

Joe would. He would be beyond heartbroken when they found him again, would probably kill him and then kiss him breathless when they reunited. Which they would reunite. Either Copley would free him, or he’d escape. Mortals made far too many mistakes, had too little patience to truly capture an immortal the way Copley intended to.

But the way Joe was captured, swallowed whole by the earth. That capture could be never ending, an eternity of deathless deaths if Nicky didn’t free him. 

“Tell me a better way Andy,” he asked, genuinely asked because he didn’t want to break Joe’s heart. 

“We’ll turn over the whole plot of land, dig up the whole place,” Andy started.

“He might not be there Andy,” Nicky said.

“Let me go with you then. I’m not immortal anymore but I’ll stay by your side,” Andy argued, a tad desperately. 

“If they hurt you, you won’t come back Andy. We shouldn’t risk that. Let me go with Nicky,” Nile volunteered. 

“Nile I couldn’t do that to you,” Nicky said. 

“I’m choosing. You shouldn’t have to do this alone,” she replied with steel in her voice. Her youth had never been more apparent, alongside her inherent kindness. They’d known each other mere months and she was willing to bear this with him.

But Nicky couldn’t allow that to happen to her. She was so new. 

“I only want one of you. Any more is harder to contain,” Copley interjected.

Nicky glanced at the man in surprise, detecting the lie easily. More samples would be better. But Copley was looking at Nile with some semblance of pity, sensing her youth just as Nicky did and wishing to protect it.

In some twisted way, this man was capable of kindness. He was merely misguided and perhaps, Nicky could work with that, open Copley’s eyes to what doing good really meant as Nicky had come to understand it during his long life. 

“Take care of Joe. He will need you,” Nicky said. 

Andy had tears in her eyes, heartbroken in a way Nicky hadn’t seen her to be in a long time. Perhaps even since Quynh. 

“I will come back Andy. I promise,” Nicky said.

“You cannot make such promises. But I can promise you that I’ll take care of Joe, and that I will never stop looking for you,” Andy said solemnly. 

“We won’t stop,” Nile added. Her eyes had filled with tears too. Nicky pulled them both into a hug, trying to keep his own tears at bay. He could tell them to pass on a message to Joe, but what could he say? Their love was a given, and an apology wouldn’t encompass the guilt Nicky felt at leaving Joe like this. Even Joe’s way with words could not encompass that.

He drew back, keeping his forehead on Andy’s, a hand tightly twined with Nile’s.

“Tell him I’ll see him again,” Nicky finally decided on. Andy nodded, jaw still clenched tight and Nicky turned to face Copley. The man at least had the decency to look apologetic. If anything, his eyes seemed to be begging for some kind of confirmation that he was doing the right thing. 

“You have good intentions Copley,” Nicky started.

The man startled. 

“But that doesn’t mean you are doing the right thing,” he finished. 

Copley’s face fell, mouth twisted into a frown. 

“Now where is Joe,” Nicky pressed.

“You’d leave now if I told you,” Copley argued.

“Do not test your limits Copley,” Nicky said lowly. Copley paled, hands suddenly clenched to fists at his side. 

“I cannot guarantee you will stay,” he said meekly. 

“Oh he’s definitely not staying.”

Nicky froze for half a second before whirling around, heart suddenly hammering in his throat. It couldn’t be. This was just his imagination, fueled by all he’d been wishing for over the past week. Longing, desperation and a lack of sleep rolled into a fever dream. 

But then there was Joe in the flesh, propped up against the doorway with a gun pointed at Copley’s head. He’d lost some weight, his curls appeared knitted with mud, but it was him. He was here. Beside him was Booker, grinning from ear the ear with joy he rarely ever expressed.

But Nicky only spared him half a glance before turning to Joe again. Joe was here, beside him, safe. 

Nicky was seconds away from crying or screaming, he didn’t know what. 

“Next time, if you get a next time,mark a grave with something less obvious than a random patch of lilies,” Joe drawled. 

His gaze finally cut to Nicky and Nicky could see the marks the darkness had left on him, the new weight burdening his love’s shoulders. He could see the pain and relief warring with equal intensity in those beautiful brown eyes, and it enraged Nicky as much as it devastated him. What Copley had done, 

Nicky lifted his hand without having to think, shooting Copley in the head without so much as a backward glance. 

He didn’t savor this new blood on his hands, but some dark twisted part of him that still loved Joe just as the rest of him did finally stopped writhing within him, demanding revenge. In the sudden absence of that primal anger that had completely washed over him for a split second, Nicky almost swayed on his feet. 

Then Joe was there in front of him and Nicky was suddenly on his knees, trying to contain the scream threatening to tear out of his throat. 

“I’m here ya hayati. I’m here,” Joe said.

“Joe,” Nicky started. It came out a strangled whine that was barely Joe’s name. Joe’s arms wrapped around him and Nicky was shaking as he laid his head against Joe’s chest, feeling that wonderful heart beat against his ear. 

And the anger, the rage went quiet just like that, replaced only with incessant fear that felt like an itch Nicky couldn’t scratch. 

“They buried you. Buried. I couldn’t, you’re here,” Nicky gasped. He knew he wasn’t making any sense, knew Joe understood anyway.

“Booker dug me out,” Joe said simply.

Nicky wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and Joe lifted him off the ground, sliding Nicky into his lap. 

“Nicolo you’re shaking. Ya amar I’m here. It’s okay I’m here,” Joe soothed.

Nicky drew back a little to see those warm brown eyes again, that beheld him with such wonder and love that Nicky could hardly stand it. He peppered kisses to Joe’s face, frantically, cause he was feeling too much, more than a little shocked and still too afraid that this was all a dream. 

“Nicky. Nicky,” Joe protested a little. Then his large hands held Nicky’s head in place and he leaned forward to press their lips together. Nicky bit at his lip in a way that was more out of the sheer terror that this would end than anything else. But Joe gentled the kiss, pushing Nicky to match a more languid pace. One of Joe’s hand came up to untangle Nicky’s hand, that had fisted in Joe’s hair. He placed Nicky’s hand over his chest instead, and feeling Joe breathe beneath his fingertips, feeling the movement of his lips that felt less and less like terrifying free fall and more a sweet dive, finally had Nicky slowing down. 

And that fear slowly began to ebb away, powerless against the effect Joe had always had on him. 

Joe deepened the kiss, and Nicky let his head fall back, let himself go boneless knowing Joe’s arms would hold him up. They were kissing like they had all the time in the world, like this wasn’t a dream that was about to end.

And when Joe finally pulled back and stared at him with the brightest smile Nicky had ever had the joy of seeing, Nicky believed him. Believed he was really here. 

“You’re okay,” he huffed. 

“Better than okay when I’m with you,” Joe replied easily.

He stood up, pulling Nicky up as well, keeping their hands locked together. Joe turned to Andy with a grin that faltered when he caught sight of the bullet wound in her shoulder.

“Shit boss we need to patch that,” he started.

He didn’t get to finish as she pulled them both into a fierce hug, like she’d lost them both. Perhaps she had. Where Joe went, Nicky did follow. She drew back with a new wave of tears wetting her cheeks.

“Next time you call for help. None of this fucking heroics,” she snapped at Joe. 

“I was just trying,” Joe started.

“If it’s my time it’s my time you hear me. You don’t pull this kind of bullshit,” Andy demanded.

Because they all knew firsthand that there were far worse things than true death. 

“I’m always going to pull this kind of bullshit boss,” Joe said helplessly, laughing a little as Andy punched him in the arm before hugging him again. Joe released Nicky’s hand only to spin Andy around in a circle in the way she loved. 

He put her down and peered past her at Nile. She offered him a grin, one he returned with all the brightness of the sun. She sidled up to his side and he tucked her under his arm before turning to Booker. 

“I guess, I guess I should be leaving then,” Booker said hesitantly.

Heads turned to Nicky. Not Joe, Joe merely tightened his grip on his hand. He’d stand by Nicky through any decision, wouldn’t even glance his way because then Nicky would know what Joe wanted. And in the midst of all this, Nicky would concede to anything Joe wanted. But this wasn’t something he should do just because Joe wished it, and they both knew that. 

Andy’s face was a blank canvas but Nicky knew she wanted Booker to stay. Only Nile looked truly beseeching. After a long moment, staring at the man he’d come to call brother, the man that had apologized a thousand times over and had just dug his husband out of a grave, the words came easy. 

“You’re staying Booker,” Nicky said. 

“You don’t have to,” Booker stuttered out.

“I know,” Nicky replied.

Booker swallowed thickly, and the relief that flashed across his features, at the thought of no longer having to go a century alone, was gut wrenching.

“I won’t screw up again,” he promised.

“No. You won’t,” Nicky said. In agreement and in warning.

Feeling the tension return in him, he pressed against Joe’s side and Joe’s arm wrapped around his waist as he planted a kiss on Nicky’s forehead. They walked out of there, bloody and disheveled but whole once again. As they stepped into the sunlight, Joe flinched away from it a little, lifting a hand to his face. 

“I’m fine Nicky,” Joe said, no doubt responding to the stricken look on Nicky’s face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner,” Nicky said raggedly.

“I’m only sorry we were ever apart,” Joe said instantly. They clambered into the car, and Joe immediately had an arm slung around Nicky’s shoulders. Nicky turned a little to block the sunlight coming through the window as best as he could. Nile automatically copied him without question.

“I’m not a vampire guys,” Joe joked. But neither Nicky nor Nile budged, and Joe stopped protesting, letting his eyes flutter shut instead. He was completely asleep by the time they reached the safehouse, head resting against Nicky’s chest, knees pressed against Nile’s.

Nicky carefully pulled him out of the car and up into his arms, a little terrified at how light Joe had become in a week. 

“A lot of food and rest, and he’ll be better Nicky,” Andy assured.

Nicky nodded, swallowing thickly and carried Joe into the house, relieved that finally, finally, Joe was in his arms again, not dying, not hurt.

Here and safe.


	4. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Nicky deal with the aftermath.

Nicky woke up to pained gasping. He picked his gun up on instinct, scanning the empty room. Andy was fast asleep in the next room, healing from her bullet wound. Nile and Booker were still awake outside, talking in low voices. 

Nicky lowered the gun when he realized the threat wasn’t external. He turned in bed to a horrifying sight that’d probably haunt him until he died his final death. Joe’s whole face was strained, corded veins sticking out against his neck and forehead. Sweat coated his face, soaking through his shirt, turning the pillow damp beneath him. His hands were clawing at this throat, leaving long bloody scratches that healed as quickly as they were formed. 

For a second all Nicky could do was stare in mute horror. Then Joe let out a particularly pained whine that launched him into motion. He pried Joe’s hands away from his throat and pinned them both above his head with one hand. Joe began to really thrash and Nicky used his free hand to shake the man hard. 

“Joe. Joe! Yusuf!” 

Joe woke up with a start, lurching upward to nearly bang his forehead against Nicky’s. Nicky moved back a little but not far. He couldn’t move away completely, not when Joe looked like this.

“I. I. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Joe mumbled, eyes still blown wide. 

“None of that habibi. What do you need,” Nicky asked. 

Perhaps a couple centuries ago, Joe would have replied with an I’m fine, I promise I’ll be fine. Because they’d thought love was sparing the other of pain, of bringing only smiles and joy to each other’s faces. But they’d grown as individuals, and grown as lovers since then. 

“I couldn’t breath and I knew you’d come but I couldn’t breath,” Joe rasped. 

Nicky moved back even further and lifted Joe onto his lap, letting Joe’s legs spread out on either side of him. He reached for the glass of water on the nightstand and Joe drank quickly, sputtering a little when water went down the wrong pipe.

“Easy. Easy,” Nicky soothed, pulling the glass away. He traced circles on Joe’s back and Joe dipped his head forward to rest against Nicky’s chest.

“I don’t think I can sleep again tonight but I want to lie down,” Joe admitted softly.

“You’re sure,” Nicky clarified. 

Joe nodded and Nicky leaned forward, carefully placing Joe’s head back on the pillow. He hovered above the man, and Joe smirked, a pale imitation of his usual playfulness. 

But Nicky would still play along. 

“Do you want me to distract you instead,” Nicky asked. 

And again, once upon a time Joe would have refused, not willing to cut Nicky’s sleep. But then they’d realized that they couldn’t sleep anyway when the other was hurting and that the only way forward was to heal the hurt. 

Joe nodded and Nicky dipped his head for a kiss, before trailing his lips further downward, taking Joe apart and putting him back together with all the adoration and worship the man deserved. Afterwards they lay tangled, Joe’s leg slotted between his, his arm wrapped around Nicky’s waist. It was close to two in the morning when Joe began to cry as he admitted how scared he’d been. Nicky cried too until he pulled himself together enough to wipe away both their tears as the sunlight slowly filtered in through the windows. 

They spent some nights like that, others talking, yet others curled up in silence with a book between them. 

And eventually Joe found steady sleep again, eventually the night terrors stopped, breathing came easier and being buried alive became nothing more than a terrible distant memory to both of them.


End file.
